Here is a shocking statement for you. Ready? We all think about ourselves way too much!
I once knew a guy who had an ongoing struggle with insecurity. He described how he would walk into a room and instantly begin to worry about what others were thinking of him. His dress. His personality. His work. Would they like him or dislike him. To some of you this type of thinking sounds extreme, while others of you may be wondering what the problem is…doesn’t everyone think like this?
Since the the fall of mankind we’ve all had an ongoing battle with thinking of ourselves too much. We find ourselves inconvenienced and offended because of what others say or do that gets in the way of our own agenda. How dare she drive slower than me? How dare the cashier take time to crack open a sleeve of nickels and slow me down? These seemingly silly illustrations are more common than any of us would care to admit. Even worse, self-focus can lead to even more destructive and hurtful behavior.
Are we really like this? Unfortunately, yes.
This tendency to be so self-absorbed generally lands in two major categories or descriptions. We say in frustration, “They are so arrogant.“ Or, we say in pity, “They are so insecure.”
Arrogance and insecurity are plagues of human nature and only the Holy Spirit can save us from ourselves.
The two seem so opposite, yet a quick glance and you see the similarities. One is a based on a period. One is based on a question mark.
Arrogance is a statement starting with “I am ____.” Arrogance states, “I am right. I have the answers. I am better.”
Insecurity is a question starting with “Am I ____?” Insecurity asks, “Am I right? Am I capable? Am I good enough?
The focus of both is self. The problem with both is they replace concern and compassion for others. Another result is both disorders remove focus on God and place it squarely on ourselves.
Moses asked God his name, and God obliged and said, “I AM.” “I AM” is his name, not ours. Arrogance (“I am ___”) is self-centeredness which puts self in a place only God needs to be. Insecurity (“Am I ___”) is self-centeredness which ignores what God has already said of you to be true. We begin looking at God in a backwards way.
The root of both is pride.
Maybe we would all be a little less sensitive and less offended if we merely stopped thinking of ourselves so much. If we want to shift focus away from ourselves, there are plenty of opportunities in considering others and mostly, focusing on God.
A couple of questions for you to wrestle with today…
- Which relationships do you tend to shift focus towards yourself?
- Do you have accountability or self-awareness to help you see when you’re being selfish?
- When you find your thoughts centered on “I am” or “Am I” how can you shift focus towards others or towards God?
I’d love to hear your answers. Leave comments and let’s discuss.
Great thoughts Jon. I think framing “I AM” and “AM I?” are only helpful if we remember who we are in light of who GOD says we are and only allow ourselves to ask GOD questions about who we are in Him. David asked God to examine his heart (“See if there is any wicked way in me”). He wasn’t concerned with what others thought, he only cared about what the Father saw. So I suppose our obsession with ourselves is only acceptable in light of our obsession with who the Father is and who He says we are in Him. Hope that makes sense. Enjoy reading your blog. Have a great Catalyst experience!
I have no major comment or point to discuss…..just wanted you to know I am reading these posts:)
Thanks for stopping by, Karen. Bring your friends.